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The Fourth Monkey
By Daniel Unger

Editor’s note:
On August 9, 2002, at age 17, Daniel entered a national writing contest for teens.  It was put on by Ride BMX magazine.  The contestants were assigned the topic of, “The Fourth Monkey.”  Daniel submitted his original story as you can read below.  He won first place and received various prizes.

Well we all know who the first three monkeys are, so we'll skip the introduction.  The following is the story on the fourth one:

    A long, long time ago before any of us could ride a bike, there was a place called Lalapalala.  This town was filled with animals and homeless people--mostly homeless people though.  The town smelled so bad that nobody would come within 100 miles of it due to numerous homeless people and dirty animals.  The stench was so bad that it would burn the inside of your nose if you got too close, and then you would see lots of little blue turtles walking around (hallucinations are a side effect of the smell, along with vomiting and violent seizures).  Though the smell was indeed terrible, the animals and bums didn't even notice because they were so used to it. 

    A monkey was going to have a baby one day, and one of the bums was walking by and stopped to help since there were no doctor monkeys around to deliver the nasty little thing.  Even though the bum had never delivered a baby, much less a baby monkey before, he tried to keep the mother calm and help pull the baby out.  When the baby was successfully delivered, it looked up at the bum who was holding him and said,” Mama, Mama!!"  The bum tried to point out that the mother was right next to him, but the baby became attached to the bum.  After a long talk and hard deliberation, the mother decided to give the homeless guy the baby since it loved him so much.

    The man raised and took care of the little monkey and taught him tricks.  The man decided to give his monkey a name.  He decided to name him "Dumbo."  After he and Dumbo got some of the tricks down, they started having shows for the other homeless people and animals.  Though the town was very small and had no houses--only boxes and trash cans--there wasn't much exposure for the bum and Dumbo.  One day a dairy truck was coming by and the bum asked the driver for a ride.  The driver said he'd give them a ride if they sat in the trailer with the cows.  The bum and Dumbo agreed.  Though the ride was bumpy, they finally arrived in Las Vegas.  The bum went and found out how to get some shows going with him and Dumbo.  They had some great shows and the man started to call it The Greatest Show on Earth.  That evolved into the circus under the big top, and they made lots of money together from the circus.  Since the bum was the creator of the circus, he became rich and famous and sold Dumbo to an Italian man named Allen Pacino.  Dumbo's name was changed to "Scarface," and he became a movie star.  You may remember him from such movies as "Human Slayer," "Planet of The Psychos" and "Bambi Junior."  During the filming of the new box office topping movie, "The Grandfather," Scarface was brutally hugged to death by a little girl named Hillary Clington who was a big fan of Scarface's.  Clington was always a rough little girl anyway, but her lust for violence came from watching Scarface's movies, and too much WWF.  Even though Scarface died at a young age, he left behind a legacy that nobody will forget for a long time.  THE END.

P.S.  If you didn't know that the fourth monkey's name was Scarface, then you must have been born on Mars or don't know anything about great American heroes.  Where have you been all of your life?

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